Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Dear Kendra-

My dear friend-
My words are so inadequate today

I am so sorry that you must know this loss
and that your daughter isn't here with you
I am so very sorry that you have to live even one day without her here in your arms.

I wish you could know the softness of her skin
I wish you could know her sweet touch and the sound of your name from her mouth
I wish that you could see her blow out birthday candles and tear open colorful packages

I am broken that you will never know the sweet innocence in her brown eyes
You are forced instead to remember the flutter of hope they gave you only once

I wanted to stop the world that day, four years ago
I wanted to freeze time and allow you to take what you needed from those tender moments
but time was not mine either
Painfully, time continued on it's selfish way

I miss knowing you, with light and joy always in your eyes
I miss the beautiful person that knew pain only as a feeling, not the way of life it has become
My heart is broken to never know the person you would be had your daughter stayed with you on earth

There are no words, dear Kendra.
There are only hopes, and dreams, tiny unfulfilled futures, and sorrow this day.
Though her time in life was short, it was a lifetime, a beautiful and meaningful lifetime.

I truly love the person that you have become in her loss
A mother of strength and hope, a mother that knows a deeper love
than any mother should ever have to know
I love you and your daughter forever for what you have given me in this life.
I, selfishly, love that if we must walk this path, we can walk it together.

It is with hope that I pray this day does not consume you
I pray that you understand her sweet purpose to your life
and that you never question your devotion to her

It is with sorrow that I remind you, tomorrow is never promised
and that it was you and your daughter that taught this to me
To both of you, I am forever grateful

In love, dear Kendra I cannot wait to meet your sweet child in eternity
until then, my heart aches for you
I am so sorry for your loss,
From one mommy to another, I am so sorry.