Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Mother's Day

I don't know why Mother's day is always so impossible for me. I have so much to be grateful for, so many things to thank God for... 2 healthy children, 6 months with David, a healthy pregnancy, a supportive husband... and yet I spend mother's day feeling cheated. I avoid every person I know that hasn't lost a child, I fill the day with things that have no significance to celebrating motherhood. It wasn't until 8pm, putting C and N down to bed that I actually thanked them for having something to celebrate. What kind of selfish person have I become? I was so fortunate to have David come into the world alive, then to spend 6 perfect months with him and to have him pass so peacefully and painlessly, how many people who have lost their children can say they are as lucky as I am? My child was term, healthy, happy... and Mother's day feels like a funeral...

This is where I am today.