Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Mother's Day

I don't know why Mother's day is always so impossible for me. I have so much to be grateful for, so many things to thank God for... 2 healthy children, 6 months with David, a healthy pregnancy, a supportive husband... and yet I spend mother's day feeling cheated. I avoid every person I know that hasn't lost a child, I fill the day with things that have no significance to celebrating motherhood. It wasn't until 8pm, putting C and N down to bed that I actually thanked them for having something to celebrate. What kind of selfish person have I become? I was so fortunate to have David come into the world alive, then to spend 6 perfect months with him and to have him pass so peacefully and painlessly, how many people who have lost their children can say they are as lucky as I am? My child was term, healthy, happy... and Mother's day feels like a funeral...

This is where I am today.

2 comments:

Amy said...

Janice,
I am thinking of you. I am so sorry that Mother's Day was so hard. I am sure one day the pain won't be so fresh, or at least that is my hope for you.

Wishing you peace. XO Amy

elizabeth said...

Janice,

David's picture is so, so sweet. What a beautiful little angel. Thank you for reminding us all that each and every day could be the last time we see our children, our spouses, our parents. Life is precious, all our children are precious, you are precious.